Good mental health does not stem from taking some type of psychopharmaco pill that dulls your nerves and suppresses the signals in your brain.  Ask anyone who has resorted to such a method and they will probably tell you, the pain of breaking away from any type of psychopharmaco medicine is difficult. It can be a cruel detoxification process that takes years.  Not that I am against psychopharmaco medicines, they are necessary for certain types of illnesses or for certain types of depressive conditions that could be threatening to a person's life or threatening to other people's lives.  However, today, the number of people taking some type of pill to cope with life has increased tremendously and especially in relation to career stress.  

Learning how to cope with hard times 

Let us take the job as an example. If you are having problems on the job and it seems as if everything you do is wrong, more than likely you feel totally overwhelmed, nervous, edgy and cranky. You may think it is time to run to the doctor and get a prescription for Valium or Tabor,  but that is not always the best answer for career stress.  These types of pills  may anesthetise the nerve receptors in your brain so that the mental pain disappear, but the problem is still there. You will still have to face it at some point in your life.

One of the most popular pop groups that ever existed in the 20^th Century sang a song, "It's been a hard day's night and I've been working like a dog."¹  Yes, those Beatles tagged the hard day's night, but if you look at the second part of the first verse it says,"But when I get home to you I find the things that you do will make me feel alright."  You may not have the privilege of having a significant other in your life to fulfill the last part of the song, but one thing that every person should have is one or two best friends. 

 One of the major characteristics of true friendship  is that it is based on trust and respect, which allow people to be real with each other. It is a relationship where two or three people come together and share the pain that they are experiencing and received empathy and understanding as well as the courage to go through hard times.  A friend does not have to be a lover, or  a husband or a wife. There you may come up against misunderstanding or pride that makes you feel at fault.

No, such situations usually are best talk over with a someone with whom you can scream or yell out your frustration about what is going on at your job. Their unconditional acceptance of you and the  willingness to hear what you have to say will help you overcome any problem on your job.  This is the type of friend who listen to you and is objective about the situation. They will build you up and point out your positives as well as softly steer you away from negative thinking.  They will not give you up and as the song says and may I paraphrase my own version of the last sentence in the first verse, "When I get together with you, I find the things that you do and say make me feel and know that I am okay." 

So, the next time you start going through a rough spot on your job, don't reach for the 'feel good bottle' of psychopharmaco first, instead reach out to your best friend.  That's what friends are for!"  That is another great song written by Burt Bacharach and Carole Bayer Sager and recorded by many of the great singers of the late 20^th century beginning with Rod Stewart and Dionne Warwick on her album Dionne & Friends. Friends may not swipe away your problems, but when you depart from them, you feel  much better and your situation does not seem as bad as before. A good friend lets you know you are never alone and you will make it. 

So, keep smiling and keep shining,

Knowing you can always count on me, for sure,

That's what friends are for.

In good times and bad times

I'll be on your side forever more,

That's what friends are for.² 

Ciao, 

Pat Garcia   

¹The Beatles. It's Been A Hard Days Night. Released 1964.